Febtomfag Cabcinbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, vain wren.

Febtomfag Cabcinbonk created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Febtomfag Cabcinbonk, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Febtomfag Cabcinbonk, it will turn you into a worm.

Febtomfag Cabcinbonk's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Febtomfag Cabcinbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Feed all hungry monkeys.