Sadfoblarp is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited raccoon.

Sadfoblarp created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sadfoblarp, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sadfoblarp, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Sadfoblarp's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Sadfoblarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. You must pray to Sadfoblarp six times a day.

4. Run away from blue dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Do not run in public.