Hitrotlam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, wise fish.

Hitrotlam created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitrotlam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hitrotlam, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hitrotlam's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hitrotlam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three iron sculptures of Hitrotlam on top of important buildings.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. You must pray to Hitrotlam seven times a day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.