Xemlaplam Carrawhig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, merciless swan.

Xemlaplam Carrawhig created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemlaplam Carrawhig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xemlaplam Carrawhig, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Xemlaplam Carrawhig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Xemlaplam Carrawhig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Xemlaplam Carrawhig on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.