Fonmifdud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive narwhal.

Fonmifdud created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonmifdud, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fonmifdud, she will turn you into a rock.

Fonmifdud's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fonmifdud's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. You must pray to Fonmifdud seven times a day.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think ill of sick ducks.