Jopjinrap Xucbomnat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless crab.

Jopjinrap Xucbomnat created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Jopjinrap Xucbomnat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jopjinrap Xucbomnat, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jopjinrap Xucbomnat's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Jopjinrap Xucbomnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of grasshopers.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Always wear orange.