Bafbampig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, impressive weasel.

Bafbampig created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafbampig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bafbampig, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bafbampig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bafbampig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Feed all hungry swans.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.