Cudbonbonkfar is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy hippopotamus.

Cudbonbonkfar created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Cudbonbonkfar, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cudbonbonkfar, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cudbonbonkfar's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cudbonbonkfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide if nine pigs approach from the south.

5. Never laugh near swans.