Fagflathad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, temperamental guinea pig.

Fagflathad created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagflathad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fagflathad, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fagflathad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fagflathad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Fagflathad on top of all buildings.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.