Lagsad is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, uncaring porpoise.

Lagsad created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagsad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lagsad, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Lagsad's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Lagsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help cats.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Pray towards the west.