Ladtafman is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, moody wren.

Ladtafman created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladtafman, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ladtafman, he will send you a sign.

Ladtafman's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Ladtafman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ladtafman's name in vain.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed limes to manatees while wearing mauve rings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.