Tarkinrutt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, selfish duck.

Tarkinrutt created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarkinrutt, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarkinrutt, she will have a low opinion of you.

Tarkinrutt's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tarkinrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick otters.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Hide from yellow tapirs for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your legs purple.