Tankimfen is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, compassionate penguin.

Tankimfen created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Tankimfen, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tankimfen, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tankimfen's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tankimfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to foxes while wearing brown shoes.

2. Worship no other gods but Tankimfen.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.