Yarlsandarncubfenlimbestzan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent fairy.

Yarlsandarncubfenlimbestzan created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlsandarncubfenlimbestzan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarlsandarncubfenlimbestzan, he will turn you into a plant.

Yarlsandarncubfenlimbestzan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yarlsandarncubfenlimbestzan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Run away from mauve tortoises, for they are unholy.