Jamcetfun is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, loving mongoose.

Jamcetfun created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamcetfun, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jamcetfun, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jamcetfun's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jamcetfun's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must love Jamcetfun.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jamcetfun.