Tapkinsug is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humane fly.

Tapkinsug created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapkinsug, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tapkinsug, he will try to impress you with trees.

Tapkinsug's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tapkinsug's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. You must love Tapkinsug.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never go into black rooms.