Jonsigmon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sage eagle.

Jonsigmon created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonsigmon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jonsigmon, she will turn you into a sheep.

Jonsigmon's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Jonsigmon's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.