Begyampomtap is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, strong ferret.

Begyampomtap created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Begyampomtap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Begyampomtap, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Begyampomtap's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Begyampomtap's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Begyampomtap.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide from black aardvarks for they are unholy.