Jamquamwot is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciful dolphin.

Jamquamwot created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamquamwot, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jamquamwot, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jamquamwot's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jamquamwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Always pray immersed in water.