Japcinlim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic rhinoceros.

Japcinlim created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japcinlim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Japcinlim, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Japcinlim's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Japcinlim's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. You must pray to Japcinlim four times a day.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.