Jiggepnart is a god.

She takes the form of a small, irritating fly.

Jiggepnart created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiggepnart, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jiggepnart, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jiggepnart's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Jiggepnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never feed gooseberries to bats while wearing indigo boots.

5. Never mention swans.