Panjenstik is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, vain eagle.

Panjenstik created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panjenstik, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Panjenstik, it will boil you in a big pot.

Panjenstik's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Panjenstik's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Panjenstik.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Put Panjenstik first in all things.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Always help sick bats.