Bosslunzan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witty snail.

Bosslunzan created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bosslunzan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bosslunzan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bosslunzan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bosslunzan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bosslunzan on top of all buildings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.