Timtifhad Honragjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic dryad.

Timtifhad Honragjarn created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timtifhad Honragjarn, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timtifhad Honragjarn, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Timtifhad Honragjarn's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Timtifhad Honragjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

5. Always help whales in need.