Vidbessmil is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental snake.

Vidbessmil created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidbessmil, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vidbessmil, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Vidbessmil's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vidbessmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never talk about birds.