Lenjatkar is a god.

He takes the form of a large, omnipotent hydra.

Lenjatkar created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenjatkar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lenjatkar, he will turn you into a rock.

Lenjatkar's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Lenjatkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not take Lenjatkar's name in vain.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.