Kipkikfenhak is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, almighty beaver.

Kipkikfenhak created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Kipkikfenhak, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kipkikfenhak, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kipkikfenhak's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kipkikfenhak's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.