Quagsomjap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty hydra.

Quagsomjap created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagsomjap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Quagsomjap, she will ignore you.

Quagsomjap's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Quagsomjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Put Quagsomjap first in all things.