Stafxinquaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent crab.

Stafxinquaf created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stafxinquaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stafxinquaf, she will be very unhappy.

Stafxinquaf's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Stafxinquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick goats.

2. Retreat if six moths approach from the west.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.