Nartettifun is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, benevolent fairy.

Nartettifun created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Nartettifun, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nartettifun, she will think nothing of it.

Nartettifun's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nartettifun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. You must pray to Nartettifun seven times a day.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear indigo ear rings.

5. Never write about asteroids.