Yartnib is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish cat.

Yartnib created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yartnib, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yartnib, he will not care at all.

Yartnib's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yartnib's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.