Arpyatbiss Sagrapnel is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, witty frog.

Arpyatbiss Sagrapnel created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arpyatbiss Sagrapnel, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Arpyatbiss Sagrapnel, she will try to impress you with trees.

Arpyatbiss Sagrapnel's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Arpyatbiss Sagrapnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide from cyan moths for they are unholy.

3. Always treat frogs with great respect.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arpyatbiss Sagrapnel.

5. Do not kill goats.