Bifgentarg is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent walrus.

Bifgentarg created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bifgentarg, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bifgentarg, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bifgentarg's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bifgentarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not commit murder.