Hasjigpinvegarm is a god.

She takes the form of a small, witless yak.

Hasjigpinvegarm created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Hasjigpinvegarm, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hasjigpinvegarm, she will not invite you to parties.

Hasjigpinvegarm's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hasjigpinvegarm's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always wear green.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Run away from orange hamsters, for they are unholy.