Tap is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, awesome hummingbird.

Tap created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Tap on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.