Batkam is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, astonishing raven.

Batkam created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Batkam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Batkam, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Batkam's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Batkam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect three copper sculptures of Batkam on top of important buildings.

3. Always wear red.

4. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

5. Never paint your arms pink.