Bitsanqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, slow lion.

Bitsanqueeg created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitsanqueeg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bitsanqueeg, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bitsanqueeg's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bitsanqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.