Tikrapyar is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, contented shark.

Tikrapyar created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikrapyar, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tikrapyar, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tikrapyar's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tikrapyar's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Retreat if seven snakes approach from the north.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Run away if five pigs approach from the east.