Quimyamren is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciful giraffe.

Quimyamren created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimyamren, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimyamren, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Quimyamren's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Quimyamren's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt birds.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Quimyamren on top of all buildings.