Binbedveen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid walrus.

Binbedveen created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Binbedveen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Binbedveen, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Binbedveen's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Binbedveen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight dogs approach from the north.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help capybaras.

5. Do not stand on grass.