Bifhin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced porpoise.

Bifhin created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifhin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bifhin, it will turn you into a snail.

Bifhin's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bifhin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Retreat if four voles approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.