Beplarglakyardum is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, capable lion.

Beplarglakyardum created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Beplarglakyardum, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Beplarglakyardum, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Beplarglakyardum's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Beplarglakyardum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow shoes.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.