Bif is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, calm squirrel.

Bif created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bif, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bif, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bif's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bif's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.