Fatlitjen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, compassionate human.

Fatlitjen created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatlitjen, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatlitjen, she will turn you into a sheep.

Fatlitjen's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Fatlitjen's Holy Commandments

1. Fatlitjen loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not kill seals.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fatlitjen on top of all buildings.

4. Always help sick mice.

5. Never wear trousers.