Nutthabhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited armadillo.

Nutthabhiv created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutthabhiv, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nutthabhiv, it will turn you into a goat.

Nutthabhiv's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nutthabhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.