Zistdubzust is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish cow.

Zistdubzust created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zistdubzust, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zistdubzust, he will destroy your home solar system.

Zistdubzust's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Zistdubzust's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tapirs.

2. Always treat foxes with great respect.

3. Hide from mauve tortoises for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the north.

5. Respect your elders.