Cemtonkcutzogwotmigstan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, sapient lizard.

Cemtonkcutzogwotmigstan created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemtonkcutzogwotmigstan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cemtonkcutzogwotmigstan, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cemtonkcutzogwotmigstan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cemtonkcutzogwotmigstan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never feed aubergines to foxes while wearing turquoise shirts.

4. Hide if three snails approach from the south.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.