Bagflisflig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, amazing snail.

Bagflisflig created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagflisflig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bagflisflig, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bagflisflig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bagflisflig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never think ill of sick dolphins.