Bedfotquam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, effective fly.

Bedfotquam created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedfotquam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bedfotquam, he will not invite you to parties.

Bedfotquam's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bedfotquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never bounce in the presence of voles.

5. Always pray immersed in water.