Pasgontar is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful finch.

Pasgontar created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pasgontar, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pasgontar, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Pasgontar's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Pasgontar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Worship no other gods but Pasgontar.

3. Erect four tin sculptures of Pasgontar on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Feed all hungry otters.